I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
