you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
