he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
