I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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