I feel like abortions should bother me more
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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