Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
