so that wasnt chicken after all
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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