why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
