Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize