I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
