I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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