At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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