You're my little dorito
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
