I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
