evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
