he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
