ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize