I think I died a long time ago.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
