when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
