I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
