I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
