apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Found your dick twin last night
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
