If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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