So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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