Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize