Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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