Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize