Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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