No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize