Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
