just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
