Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
