I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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