What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
