It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
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