I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
