If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
