i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize