I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
