new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
