And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
