Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize