I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
