You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize