Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
