the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize