She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
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Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize