lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
