I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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