I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
