we're blogging at a bar
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
