Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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