Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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