The maid of honor just puked.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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